Things I Miss About Toronto...

I was watching a talk show with my parents this morning and it inspired me to do this post. They were talking about what ambiance, food, drinks they like at cafes, and it made me miss Second Cup. So I thought I'd put together a list of things I missed about Toronto, so I don't forget, and maybe one day when I go back, I can revisit them.

Background:
I've lived in Toronto for five years (four of those in the heart of the downtown area... I spent my first year at the Mississauga campus). Although I hated it (mainly because of the extreme weather and some crappy experiences), I still had some good times living there. It's where I sort of grew up as an individual (emphasis on "sort of," haha). What I loved most about living in such a big city is learning the knowledge of its streets and becoming familiar with particular spots that I enjoyed going. It made me feel like the city is mine.
Anyway, get on with it!
*Warning: a lot of food-related things and restaurants will be mentioned.

1. I miss being able to walk everywhere
2. I miss the creepy, smelly subway (mainly because I actually learned how to take it, lol, and it helped me with my NSEW bearings)
3. I miss Harbourfront (and taking the University St. down) and its diamond waters
4. I miss Second Cup's London Fog, ginger snap cookies (I miss the one particularly on College St.)
5. I miss the Starbucks on the corner of St. George and College
6. I miss the Tim Hortons on the corner of College and Spadina -- a large French Vanilla, hot chocolate, Iced Capp, honey-glazed donut please!
7. I miss the Burger King on the corner of College and Spadina
8. I miss the little convenience store called College Variety on College with the nice Korean store keepers
9. I miss the laundromat, Konnichiwa Japanese restaurant with their super delicious Katsu Don and Udon, John's Italian Caffe with their seafood linguini and tiramisu, Sambuca's prix fixe menu, the little video store, all situated on Baldwin St. 
10. I miss the Village Idiot Pub and their Fruli strawberry beer
11. I miss the Lucky Moose Mart and everything Taiwanese that they sell there, oh and the Jasmine Green Tea!
12. I miss the shady Barbeque Pork place on Spadina
13. I miss the Thai restaurant near the Kensington Market that had the best Thai Iced Tea
14. I miss the TD bank on the corner of Spadina and Dundas, as much as I hated it
15. I miss walking past the Robarts library
16. I miss the Blockbuster on Spadina that closed down even though I was their best customer
17. I miss the upstairs Pho place on Spadina
18. I miss the Vietnamese restaurant on Spadina and their Hai Nan chicken with the divine rice with veggies
19. I miss the Arton Bead store and the Icing bead store on Queen St.
20. I miss all the clothing stores and boutiques on Queen St.
21. I miss the Crepe Cafe on Queen St. that served the best paninis and savory crepes 
22. I miss the Chapters on the corner of the-streets-I-can-never-remember-the-name-of and the Scotia Bank theatre right next to it 
23. I miss the Metro, formerly known as Dominion, at the corner of College and University and getting cans and cans of Campbell's Garden Minestrone Soup and salami and Perrier
24. I miss the drugstore above the Metro where I'd spend hours looking at makeup
25. I miss the Baskin Robbins at the Village Grange 
26. I miss walking past the police stations on Dundas, College (lol, men in uniform *wink*)
27. I miss walking to class, especially to Victoria College, Rm. 101, where the early morning light would come in at a slant through the windows and set the dust a-dancing
28. I miss the Eggsmart place that served breakfast and brunch, which had the best freshly squeezed orange juice
29. I miss the Little India restaurant on Queen St. and their Butter Chicken, na'an, and lamb biryani dishes, oh and the mango juice
30. I miss walking to Eaton Centre and the World's Biggest Bookstore 
31. I miss the bubble tea place on Yonge St. 
32. I miss seeing the very awkwardly structured ROM on Bloor St. 
33. I miss seeing all the tall buildings and expensive people (lol) on Bloor St. 
34. I miss the Loblaws at the corner of Christie and Dupont
35. I miss being able to see the CN Tower from my bedroom window when I lived on Ross St.
36. I miss Big Fat Burrito and their root beer

That's all I can think of at the moment. I probably missed some things so I'll continue to add them as they come to mind. I think above all, I miss the freedom to wander. Peripatetic walking is the best. 

Time Has Butterfly Wings

Part II.

I've been obsessed with the idea of time lately. 

It flutters away so quickly...

...And you can't get it back.

Mirror Writing

Shakespearean Sonnet LXXVI
(my favourite) 
A recent conversation with a dear friend reminded me of me doing mirror writing. 

So I thought I'd post this, to fill the lack of written posts, lol.

My Affinity for Jellyfish!

Such graceful sea creatures.

A short story - ever since the invention of the Jellyfish Dance, one of my many nicknames has been Cnidarian. I have a friend named Patrick, and I affectionately call him Echinodermy (which is the phylum name for the starfish... the y is added for endearment). Lol. :) Good times.

One of the reasons why I wanted to draw a jellyfish was because I wanted to change my Facebook cover photo...  but it wouldn't take the photo's dimensions as it is, so I had to fiddle around with its pixelation... It'd always end up being too small (so the photo would stretch) or too big (so a lot of the details are lost).

Anyway, Photoshop to the rescue!
 It took me a while to get the patch and spot healing just right (since, as you can see, I stretched the photo horizontally, adding things that weren't there before, lol -- the first picture is the original photo of the drawing), adjusted/edited the image's colours and whatnot, and voila!

Not too shabby, I don't think. I mean, you can obviously see the repetition of the shadow at the bottom right corner and the left corner too, for that matter (I tried to blur it so it's not too standout), and I could've gotten rid of it, but I kinda like it like that. I suppose I should've blended the area below the tentacles a bit better (it, to me, should be a little lighter since the angle of the light strikes there too), but oh well.

Underwater

The only reason why I'd ever want to learn how to swim.

I don't know what my fascination is with doodling drowning koalas. I feel like it really brightens up the whole doodle... don't ya think?

Defense

My brain likes to make up excuses for you
Because it doesn't want to see me go through another heartbreak.

One of My Prosaic Works

Narrative Essay – English 12
May 4th, 2007

Whoosh~ The gentle morning breeze sailed through the treetops like an ephemeral schooner. A single ray of sunlight shone through the dense foliage like Odin’s spear piercing through a cloudy sky. The sight was awe-inspiring, yet I felt an uncomfortable gaze upon me. Try as I might, I could not find the reason nor the source. So I ignored it. Besides, something else soon diverted my attention. A solitary leaf, caught in the wake of the wind, waltzed toward me and brushed against the fur on my side with the tenderness of a lover’s caress. I shuddered. That sensual feeling spread to all four legs and tail, awakening all my senses. Suddenly, with inexplicable hunger, I rose on my hind legs and drank in the scene.

Feeling fully invigorated, drunk on the scent of the morning dew, I proceeded to search for something with a little more substance to sate my hunger. I scurried up the trunk to the branch above me, ran to its end with a few short hops, and leapt. The joy, the utter freedom of soaring through the air is indescribable. No amount of sugar coated acorns could convey this feeling of purest delight. The way air ruffled my fur, the rush of being at such a height, all helped to propel me forward to a brand new world. Time became meaningless as I flitted from branch to branch among the emerald trees under the azure sky.

I ended my flight upon a massive oak tree. The rough bark under my paws littered with scars. I stepped gingerly. I was again, in awe; this oak was not just old, but ancient. A steady stream of light pulsed through the veins of the oak – life giving and mystical. The oak stood with an air of ageless wisdom, demanding respect from all that stood before it, or in my case, on it.

      I had only taken a few tentative steps when I felt the slightest breeze, and suddenly, all the nerves in my body cried out: MOVE! I jumped to the side just as the massive talons of an owl on the hunt tore pieces of bark off from where I just stood. I could feel the oak quiver, less from pain than from indignation. With one powerful flap of its wings, the owl flew up to the next branch. With its back now facing me, the owl turned its head right round and with its two disproportionately placed eyes, looked right into my soul, calculating its second strike. Truth be told, I was thinking the same; it was only out of sheer dumb luck that I was able to avoid such an untimely death. Without thinking, I darted towards the end of the branch and once again took to the air. This time I did not feel the air rustle through my fur nor the feeling of release as I soared high amongst the quiet trees. This time, only the feeling of sharp talons digging through my flesh and bones registered. I did not feel pain, having been numbed, knocked senseless out of terror. As I waited on the final moments of my life, I could only hope that no one will ever find my secret acorn stash — crack.

I often question my existence...

What if what they said was true -- that your life flashes before your eyes right before you die? And what if they were wrong about one detail of that notion... that instead of your life flashing before you,
it replays itself like a very long film, so real, that you feel like you are living it again, that you don't realize that you are, in actuality, on the brink of death?

Alternatively, what if your life is just a virtual simulation, designed to see if your character, your survival is well suited to whomever is dreaming you up? And this world is just a large playground, an experiment, to test for possible outcomes of variables (of which you are one of them). Deaths, in this simulated world, are simply the ways the minds behind-the-scenes decide that they want to start over new, that the character they have thought up is deemed not worthy enough. Your life, everything that is you, are simply items of clothing that the mind behind it all, is trying out... and that you are essentially, powerless to do anything about anything.

What if my life right now, is a do-over, a deal offered to my future self, to make amends, to change whatever that is to happen? What if I haven't done anything different and the same conclusion is reached? Did I relive my life because I want to remember something? Feel more passionately? Am I disappointing my future self right now? Or what if this life, my life right now, is actually the past life of someone else?

I look at my hands, and I often wonder if they're made of molecules, binary codes, or dust...

I'm often plagued by these thoughts. You may think them silly or perhaps even unoriginal, but I thought I'd share anyway. (.__.  )

Lost Time

   "Wait." Her one word shattering the silence. "Where did it go? I... I must have lost it!"

  He inhaled sharply, having been jerked out of his mindless space staring by her sudden exclamation.

   "What? What happened?"

   "My watch! I don't know where it went! It must've fallen off my wrist!" she said, panic seeping into her voice, as she frantically searched for it on her obviously bare arm. She stood up and looked around her seat, then bending down to look at the ground.

   "Are you sure you wore it out today?" he asked calmly, so as not to provoke her already blazing fire.

   "Yes! I did! I remember checking the time before we got here! Oh, can we please, please go back to that store to ask if they have seen it?"

   He sighed.

   "Alright, let's retrace our steps and see if we can recover it."

   She jumped up and embraced him with gratitude.

   "I know that it's much easier to just buy a new one, but this watch, it means something to me. Otherwise I wouldn't let it bother me so much."

   He kissed her on the cheek, "I know, m'dear." Then patting her arm, "Well, let's get going then, shall we?"

  

  The two of them started on their task, walking slowly, their bodies bent slightly forward, looking carefully at the ground. The passersby all glanced curiously at this awkward pair, wanting to know what they were looking for. He didn't notice them, and neither did she, for they were too engaged at the quest before them that their peripheral vision seemed to have shut down.

   They gradually reached the store where she thought she had lost her watch. She looked at him with hope in her eyes.

   "Fingers crossed!"

   She strode excitedly across floor to the spot where her instincts told her the watch would be. He saw her start to kneel down, hesitate, then get back up with something shiny in her closed hands and a smile on her pretty little face. He smiled back at her as she walked towards him, a little bounce in her steps. He helped her put her watch back on.

   "I honestly don't know how it fell off in the first place. It fits so snugly on my wrist." she said softly as she watched him gently close the clasp of the watch.

   "The clasp is a little loose -- there is barely any resistance when I tried to close it." he said as-a-matter-of-factly, "I can help you fix it when we get home... Well there we go. Good as new." adjusting the watch band so its face faces upwards to the wearer.

   "Thank you..." she said as she looped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed her back. "You probably think me frivolous, getting so worried over such a small, minor thing, but now that I have it back, I just feel so much better about everything!"

   He held her waist, looking deeply into those shiny eyes that he has looked into for so many years, and said, "I'm glad that you're happy."

   He then broke the gaze and looked at his own watch.

   "I presume if we head back to the restaurant now, food will be ready for us."

   She smiled and linked up with his arm.

   They walked out to the parking lot. He took out the car keys from his pant pocket, she, a step behind, fixing her lipstick. They both got in, seat belts clicking. The engine started up and they were in motion. The sound of the radio drifted nonchalantly in the moving backdrop, lazy and ready for rest as the daylight departs.

   He was humming quietly under his breath, steering the car to the winding shape of the road. Headlights from cars in the opposite lane passed in and out of sight.

   She gasped and sat up straighter in her seat.

   He gave her a quick glance, and asked, "What's wrong?"

   After a moment, she slumped back down and gave a sigh.

   "I lost it again." Disappointment evident in her eyes and in her scrunched up brows.

   "Oh." A moment of silence. "Would you like me to turn the car arou-"

   "No. It's alright." she said abruptly. "That watch has caused enough hassle for today. Perhaps it's a sign... maybe it's best to let it go."

   He didn't say anything, for he didn't know what to say that wouldn't tempt her mood. He released his right hand from the steering wheel and took a hold of hers.

   They held hands as the backdrop moved on. He sneaked her several more quick looks of concern as they sat in silence, the radio still floating around somewhere in the background. He cleared his throat, gripped her hands a little tighter, as he returned his full attention to the road.

   Many minutes and turns later, he slowed the car down to a stop and turned off the engine. They released hands to unstrap themselves from their seats. Car doors opened and they stepped out into a newly born night. A tiny clank sounded off in the cooling air.

   He walked around the front of the car to her side. She stood up straight just as he got to her. She held up something and in the leftover light, he saw her dangling her watch between her fingers, sparkling a little.

   He chuckled lightly, feeling her happiness emanating in the darkness.

   "I can't believe I spent the entire ride, the whole time, worrying and lamenting over its loss!"

*

Writer's note: I'm not normally one to write prose for I have always had more affinity for the poetic than the prosaic... but I do, at times, think of stories that I would like to write and which are better expressed/presented in prose. I have dabbled in prose before (which I may post in the near future), but I'm not always inspired to write one. But I was today. This story was inspired by a true event, haha. I've also been reading a lot of short stories lately (scary ones in particular) and enjoying them very much, and so I endeavoured to write some myself (yes, I'm hoping to write some scary ones too). I don't want to go all high-school-English-teacher on ya, but see if you can unearth the theme/motif in this story. It shouldn't be too hard, haha. :) Hope you enjoyed!

Carved In Trees, Pt. VI

By this time, I have found stability,
Regained some sort of equilibrium
With myself, my studies, my life
But I'm still a wanderer of love
Lost in its wonder and beauty

Although I am fascinated with love
And all its endearments,
I'm rather blind and oblivious
To the efforts of the opposite sex,
Unless they are arrow blunt

So when I actually realized
That I was being pursued by him
It caught me by surprise, a happy surprise,
And we laughed about it, about how
I didn't even know I was on a date with him

It started out rough and I didn't know why
But the fights came wave upon wave,
Exasperation held us both hostage
And we almost snapped love in two,
Almost, but we overcame it somehow

And for months, we were each other's
Best friends, shoulders, and embraces,
We held hands and laughed
Like it was no one's business and it was happiness
On a level I've never experienced before

He introduced me to new things which I still love now
And taught me things I would've never known
With him, I grew as a person,
And I can never thank him enough
For being in my life

But life likes to play cruel jokes on you
Making you experience
Equal parts of happiness and sadness
And so we entered yet another period of darkness,
A darkness that will linger forever

...Because the secret was made known,
Chaos ensued and my newel was broken...
I shall not draw in detail those days
For it's too difficult for me to do so,
But to put it simply, everything shattered

Hints of the happy days were gone
And I tried to make the best of things
But I couldn't, I can't...
And I lost hope in him
Because he couldn't help me, when I asked for it

All these doubts came flooding in,
As I looked at the man I professed utter love for
He made me fall for him, but couldn't catch me when I fell
I no longer know what to believe in, for I've lost conviction,
And these doubts conquered me

For days and days, I've sat, silent
And unmoving in the sun, watching the memories fade
We drifted both in person and in spirit
Our conversations are civil, but things have changed,
Still, I walked alone... but my love, now guarded.

*

I don't know why I wrote this series of poems, but I felt compelled to somehow. 
These stories, my stories, are written, I guess, so I can deal with the emotions that were never properly dealt with. 
And these... influential people... whether we had something official or not, taught me something about love. Romantic love, to be specific. 
And it doesn't matter how it ended, because I appreciate them either way. 
Though their names were once carved in trees with mine own in a heart, their names will forever be etched in my heart.

Carved In Trees, Pt. V

I want to say, very badly,
That our heroine found
Someone she trusted
And that trusted her back
And that they lived
Happily ever after...

But true stories
Never end that way.

This love was set against
A backdrop of silent despair
Because she was traveling yet another new road
And she stumbled more than she walked
He was someone she had always heard of
And when they finally met, it was sparks

The attraction was mutual
The conclusion, not, for they never amounted to anything

He hurt her badly with his cruel words
His true intentions, unknown,
And she gave him more time than she should have
In the end, he tried to make amends
But you can never truly fix cracked glass,
You can never take back what you said

The feeling that you have lost love on someone
Is one that I hope no one else will ever experience

Carved In Trees, Pt. IV

Here, is where the next part of my story
Shall begin, for it's another beginning --
The same path that used to be gravel and pebbles,
Is now cement, and I've traveled to a new world

My heart has never been at such a discord
Leaving home, leaving familiarity behind
For strangers, for the mysterious, for chance,
It is the feeling of hot water on cold skin

I held no expectations, I carried no baggage
Except for my fire and my empty pail
It was a world without boundaries
I was a bird that had taken flight

The truth is, I was overwhelmed
I drank in all the colours and lights
And I danced mindlessly and I didn't mind
I held no reserves and nothing held me back

I cannot say for sure that I did not lose myself
But I did lose that ambition I've had for so long
Because suddenly there was so much
That I had not experienced, I had not seen

And suddenly, I held many heart strings in my hands
And I did not know what to do with them
Flattered by their attention and their fight
I gently set them free in the wind

What unfolded, was him
So smart, stoic, strong
The kindest man I'll ever meet
The first kiss I'll ever experience

I was the fir seed that spun
While he was the branch that swayed lightly
To him, I was the spark that set the forest on fire,
He loved the life that I was

To say the end was my fault
And you would be partially right
Because even though I've walked this far
The childish parts of me did not change

When you love someone
You pour hope into them
You hold their hand,
In hopes of their return of a tight grip

Jealousy is a wretched thing
It eats you away and is not afraid to show its face
You are the victim, but it also makes you the culprit
And you are torn apart by yourself

But you also tear love apart...
I teared that love apart and I was sorry for it
He was sorry that he handed me the tools to destroy it
Years passed, forgiveness melted love back to friendship

And I am fortunate, if I may say,
So very fortunate.

Carved in Trees, Pt. III

She chased him down,
Because that's how badly
She wanted to know him.

Her bravery has not diminished
Still a wild child with a flirtatious smile,
She did frivolous things to catch his attention

If her past is any indication
What she strives for, she succeeds,
Secretly hiding her blue ribbon in his book

Saturday was the best day those years
Because it was when she gets to see him
Those days, tucked away safely in her mind

As they slowly transitioned from
Strangers to friends
Her love for him grew

Those late night chats,
Those quirky remarks,
Those happy moments,

Oh, he'll always be special to her,
The boy with the code name,
The boy who remained.

Carved in Trees, Pt. II

Some years passed and I survived the fallout
By devoting myself to my craft and books
And I excelled at them, craving knowledge,
I won many races, my sixteenth year of life,
I pushed hard and I reveled in my success
And I was happy, fulfilled, at peace.

Amidst the pages of words and numbers,
The resounding laughter of my friends and I,
He found me, I found him, we found each other,
And thus, began the secrecy I will hide for years,
But at the time, nothing else mattered,
At the time, I was just a girl who simply loved.

I can still remember his cologne, it's his scent,
And how our friends poked fun at us,
How we would tell each other everything,
But be so shy when we held hands
I remember smiling big, when he came to walk me
To my next class, when he embraced me...

But alas, this does not end with a "Happily ever after,"
For we were torn apart by the withering of our fire
School occupied our time, the secret burdened my heart,
For how could I not tell my family the reason for my happiness?
And I cannot forget the day it ended, nor the day it started,
And though what we had was delightful, I lost a friend.

Carved in Trees, Pt. I

It was the crossing of a bridge in life
It was the first step of an untrodden road 
The excitement filled me with dread
As it is with anything mysterious and unknown
But then I was a child, ambitious and brave,
My mind untainted, my heart whole,
And love ran wildly and ferociously within me 
I was bold in my ways, fearless with my wants,
For all I know of love then, were from love songs

I saw him and I knew it was heartache
But I was oh so very carefree and naive
So I dove in heart first, without bounds,
And with my childlike faith, silly endeavours,
He soon became my every day,
And I, someone who more than intrigued him,
But I was young, who foolishly believed in perfection,
Always wanting more, demanding more, that he now
Will only ever be known as my first love, and nothing more. 

As I Post This, There is a Beautiful Sunset Outside

Lookie at what I learned from my mama today! I think they're super cute. :3

Something Funneh for the Happiest New Year!

So my mom was showing me this silly photo site that one of her friends uses and I ended up fiddling around on it for some time... And here are some of the results:

My brother saw this and liked it a lot...

So then he goes and does something like THIS. -__- He's just jelly of my beauty. *hmph* Lmao.

The following is a series of reactions upon seeing my brother's edit: *indignant*... *you'll-get-what-coming-to-you-glare*... *AHH!!*... *want some Vietnamese steamed bunz?*... *Whatever, peace off* **

**Not taken in real time... some photos may not be completely relevant to the situation.

Kitteh pic will save all dignity... Okay, not really. >.>

Happy New Year everyone! Hope it's much happier, brighter than the last! :)