Regained some sort of equilibrium
With myself, my studies, my life
But I'm still a wanderer of love
Lost in its wonder and beauty
Although I am fascinated with love
And all its endearments,
I'm rather blind and oblivious
To the efforts of the opposite sex,
Unless they are arrow blunt
So when I actually realized
That I was being pursued by him
It caught me by surprise, a happy surprise,
And we laughed about it, about how
I didn't even know I was on a date with him
It started out rough and I didn't know why
But the fights came wave upon wave,
Exasperation held us both hostage
And we almost snapped love in two,
Almost, but we overcame it somehow
And for months, we were each other's
Best friends, shoulders, and embraces,
We held hands and laughed
Like it was no one's business and it was happiness
On a level I've never experienced before
He introduced me to new things which I still love now
And taught me things I would've never known
With him, I grew as a person,
And I can never thank him enough
For being in my life
But life likes to play cruel jokes on you
Making you experience
Equal parts of happiness and sadness
And so we entered yet another period of darkness,
A darkness that will linger forever
...Because the secret was made known,
Chaos ensued and my newel was broken...
I shall not draw in detail those days
For it's too difficult for me to do so,
But to put it simply, everything shattered
Hints of the happy days were gone
And I tried to make the best of things
But I couldn't, I can't...
And I lost hope in him
Because he couldn't help me, when I asked for it
All these doubts came flooding in,
As I looked at the man I professed utter love for
He made me fall for him, but couldn't catch me when I fell
I no longer know what to believe in, for I've lost conviction,
And these doubts conquered me
For days and days, I've sat, silent
And unmoving in the sun, watching the memories fade
We drifted both in person and in spirit
Our conversations are civil, but things have changed,
Still, I walked alone... but my love, now guarded.
*
These stories, my stories, are written, I guess, so I can deal with the emotions that were never properly dealt with.
And these... influential people... whether we had something official or not, taught me something about love. Romantic love, to be specific.
And it doesn't matter how it ended, because I appreciate them either way.
Though their names were once carved in trees with mine own in a heart, their names will forever be etched in my heart.
