Walls

The walls draw darkness threatening
To swallow up the only light in the room
I look up at the art, so empty and so full,
And I am comforted by it.

I am comforted by the dark,
Its silent words not laced with sweetness
My eyes feeding on it ferociously,
Cloaking my mind.

I touch the walls lightly,
So cold and so stoic beneath my skin,
I know I should feel something,
But these walls refuse entry.

I'm struggling and near torn,
But I cannot feel a thing
I've unknowingly set up walls
Around myself, to keep everything out.

I lay here in the dark
I feel safe
I close my eyes
And I see the darkness on the walls.

Run!

Because I cannot bear to face it anymore

I cannot stand here, so still, and witness --

I'm running until I forget what I was running from

But I'm reminded by the ache that resurface when I stop,

So I'm running for dear life again.

My battered heart taints the blood that runs through my body,

And I'm in constant fear, always trying to escape

From the grasp of the lack, the loss, the life.

My faltering words trail behind me

That I am wanting to outrun, so I can't be found,

And I can't catch my breath, can't catch myself from falling,

These cuts and bruises bleed a helpless painting,

But I must keep running and running away,

Try to shed away the skins you've laid on me.

And they tear off painfully, stripping my real skin

Till I'm raw and unraveled, bare

But I'm frightened by the change.

I should not dwell, so I'm taking off again 

Running nowhere, running aimlessly, 

I'm still running.

Not Mine

I draw a line with my finger
Through your words on the whiteboard
Their mark on me do linger
So my mind and heart are in discord

The swirls of my fingerprint spell out
Some identity given to me
But I am filled with such doubt
I don't know who I am supposed to be

This is not my silence in the dark
I'm just a guest here
The conclusion is stark
Nothing here is mine, just fear.

Heart: Offline

The spark traveled down your hand
From your mind, electrifying pulse,
And as your fingers touched mine
I felt the jolt, the flutter of the heart,
Twirling electrons in the air.

But some things happened,
Our signals disrupted,
Tangled in wires and chaos
The zeros and ones ceased their march,
The glow around the heart faded.

Chalk Outline

I lay sprawled on the cold concrete,
I have already forgotten
The jagged stones that whisper to my skin
And the jagged stones that want to tear
Through my clothes and into my flesh.
My eyes are looking nowhere particular,
Only partially conscious of the dark ground.
I lay silent and breathless,
Trying to figure out the tangle of lights.
Gravity must be working extra hard on me
And I feel heavy all around
As questions pool my mind
And pour out unanswered
Through a hole that I cannot mend.
The last of my warmth trickles away,
Rain drops on window panes,
My stare still unmoving
Trying to see through the nothing
That my life has become.

In the Middle of the Storm

The baritone roar of the thunder
Shakes awake the drowsy windows,
So they can witness the whip of lightning
Cut across the dark flesh of the sky.
The shattering of rain on surfaces
Like the chatter of the eager audience,
Plays in the background of the scene.
The light dims a little, catching attention,
As the wind cuffs itself to branches
Making them sway back and forth helplessly
Stirring up chaos in the trees,
And I stand there, in the middle of it all,
Watching the world being directed by the storm. 

No Air

The floor is strewn with the broken past
And I don't know where to step
So I don't fall and cut myself with them

My heart is in discord
A snake eating its own tail
I am consumed but I want it to stop.

But I don't know how
I don't know how
My courage diminishes from disuse

It is easy for you to think otherwise
Because you have more light in your life
You have the fight that I can no longer muster

It has been such a long road
Traveling day and night
I can no longer differentiate between start and end

Lost to the point, I don't know what to do with myself
Why can't I just lay in the middle of the path and wait?
It's all the same anyway

People are unforgiving and cruel
Acting as if they never knew me at all
Saying kind words without meaning them

Publicize our problems and my troubles
Without thinking it through
Letting biased strangers judge harshly

It's always about what I say or partially say
I'm always in the wrong,
So why can't you understand my silence?

I'm already wrapped in chains
Don't toss me into the ocean
Like I'm someone who deserves to die

Like Light Penetrating the Water

I've been drowning for so long
Since you left my life,
Oh, you've been such a part of my life,
I don't think I ever recovered from you.
I didn't hesitate in saying that I loved you,
And I still don't hesitate now.
There were dark words that I said
Which I meant at full force then,
That I wish I could take back now.
Then and now,
Some things have changed,
Some things remain the same,
So it's no wonder
That I felt such an uncanniness
When I finally saw you again.
I didn't think much of it at first
But the hard punch to my heart did
I looked at you with a questioning look
My instincts telling me to try to figure it out,
Talk about fate, for on this day,
It would have been a year since I first met you.
I still think of you often,
But I'm afraid to think too deeply
For I fear the stirring up of the sea floor,
Fogging up the water that I worked so hard to settle.
The coldness of the water made me numb,
But I still remember too much to forget,
And perhaps you still think me heartless,
But you are you to me, all along.

Our Skin is the Only Barrier

You turn me onto my back
Sliding up slowly
Running your hands on my legs
Ripple of the sheets
I welcome you with open arms
And suddenly you're there 
I trace the veins along your neck with my tongue
Curling my fingers in the curl of your hair
Your fingertips dance lightly on my lips
The pupils of our eyes drinking each other in
I feel your heart beating in my chest
You hear the laughter at the back of my throat
I see the words stringing together in your mind
You long to cure whatever darkness afflicts my soul
I claw at your back, wanting to be consumed
You sketch out a map on top of my heart
Then grabbed my hands
Interlocked fingers, filling up the gaps in between, 
We're only skins apart.

Yes it's very much been you and me poems lately...

It Starts on the Inside

I'm a broken person
And you're in my tears.

Residue

I cannot deny that I loved you once
You thought me the worst person and I believed it, still,
Because they were your words

I cannot deny that I love you still
But I am constantly reminded of those days
And I am overwhelmed by questions and regret

I cannot deny that some things remain always
The darker days gone, but these are the same tears,
My heart still spinning in the same spot

I cannot deny that I want to forget
But I still remember nonetheless
So you are a shadow I have to live with

You are a feeling that I live with.

Fade

"Your tough exterior houses a heart too good for this world,"
He tells me, breaking my walls, as he walks away.
These doors of my life, have opened and closed
And I don't know how to say goodbye anymore.
I want to open the window and breathe the air
But I fear the uninvited guests that crawl in,
So I'm leaving, I'm leaving all that behind
As I jump out of the window and onto the earth.
I wonder many things, as seconds tick away,
In tune with my step and my blood pounding,
I wonder if there is any part of the ground
That I tread, that has never been touched before.
So I'm walking, I'm walking 'till my bones break
And I'm drinking my blood to quench my thirst
My hair, wisps of smoke, intertwining with wind's hands,
And the moment I stop, is the moment my shadow fades into the dark.

Things Happen

Things happen because they are lessons we need to learn.

So be bold.

Did that in photoshop. :D