The memories and feelings I had of you
Are now like pressed leaves
Dried and easily crumbled,
Tucked away in the pages of a heavy book,
Made to remember, but soon forgotten.
What we had was a strudel of time,
Made with layers and layers of words,
Filled with a bittersweet reality,
Baked in an oven of emotions,
And you ate it all up, 'till we were gone.
Like any person in my life,
You were a drop of dye
In my cup of water,
Changing the person I am,
But you stained my glass.
I had such a childlike faith
Believing that I could make a difference,
That I could better things
And just when I thought I was,
I failed.
In times of disaster
One could only hope
To have something
To hold onto, to keep afloat
But you were nowhere to be seen.
Only to appear and chastise me for wanting
That childlike faith back,
And I quivered like the candlelight,
Afraid of that one breath...
My light, was extinguished.
I was kept alive for torture
Because once you've decided
That I was unworthy of leaving
You refused to see anything else,
You chose to forget the good.
These fueled my want of death's comfort
As I can no longer battle in the dark.
And I hurt myself, stepping over
My broken spirit, my broken mind,
My broken heart.
You made me understand
What kind of a person you were,
Just how broken you were,
But you can't keep me here
By making me the same as you.
You can't hurt me
And expect me to stay.
I don't know how I survived
And perhaps life was kinder to me
Than it was to you.
Surely none of us deserve this pain,
But who gave you the right to impose it on me?
I could be angry,
I could be sad,
I could be holding a grudge,
Still.
But I am not.
Because you made me realize things
That I would not have discovered by myself,
So I want to thank you,
For helping me write this fable.
You were a lesson I needed to learn.
Thank you for making me realize
That my tears are my passion overflowing
From a bubbling and boiling concoction
Within, heated by things I saw and witnessed.
And though those hot tears sear my skin
The pain I feel, makes me more human
Than I can be without them.
The clarity I can see with after the storm
Is worth the pain,
Is worth all of this that transpired.
And though the lessons were long and tough
Your repeated assaults have taught me
That if I stopped caring, it doesn't make me less of a person,
That I should not have to suffer and agonize
Over your unhappiness, or over anyone else's.
So, thank you, in the end.
