The Boy

It has been over two thousand and five hundred
Days and miles between us,
And sometimes I'll look at your pictures
And read over the words we've written one another,
And I'll remember fondly and achingly
How I fell in love with you on a whim,
The first boy I ever truly loved,
The boy with the dashing looks,
The boy with the hidden talents,
The boy who had his troubles,
And I was there for all those things.
I thought of my bold and childish ways
I made you paper cranes with hidden wishes,
Went to your locker and tied ribbons there,
Asked you to drive me to morning band practice,
Did all those silly things to impress you,
And I've smiled and cried deeply because of you.
I'll never forget you and I wonder
If you think of me sometimes too,
The boy whose name was the first in my heart,
The boy who made me dream,
The boy who had no idea how much he means,
The boy who I will always love,
The boy who was admired by all,
But who chose me.

Nobody

Only through distance can you tell your worth
And I don't know mine, so I am leaving you behind
As I look back at the trail of clothes and skin
I find that I am reduced to nothing, nobody.

Necrosis

There is a hole in my being
Where horrid hands reach out
And grab me by my feet
Dragging me into its darkness,
I scream and struggle fervently
Digging my fingers into my skin
Drawing out streams of blood
But I sink even deeper,
Swallowed whole by the abyss
That was created by my own hands.

Rainstorm

The crumpled up wads of tissue papers
That have caught the incessant tears,
Resemble rolling clouds, heavy with rain

They are waiting overhead, ready to burst
And I lay on the ground that I have already watered
Motionless as the impatient clouds start to trickle

The steady drain of my sorrows blurs my vision
As the water pours from above, leaving me breathless
And I am half-drowning in this raging flood

Rain and tears are battling on my cheeks
As each new drop washes off the corpses
Onto the ground overflowing with graves,

Where no flowers will grow.

Albatross

I passed by a man with a noose around his neck
He was crying and pleading with unknown deities
But the moment we met eye to eye, he stopped,
His silence now crying pity for me as his neck snapped
And I continued on, my head hung solemnly

The lingering scent of happiness was fading
Along with my character and consciousness,
They were chased away by the remembrance
Of that deed with the best intentions turned rotten
And replaced with temporary joys and fleeting smiles

I startled awake at where my lifeless thoughts left off
Though they have already plagued my dreams
And I rehearsed them, amended them endlessly,
And I tossed and turned in agony of their impotence,
And I eventually opened my eyes to the welling of tears.

I am forgotten but I cannot forget
How the albatross pierced my heart
And was brutally drowned in my blood
And I feel it everyday, its weight
As I live with it upon my head,
Inside my heart, in limbo.

The Last Petal

The raindrops play the tick-tocks of the clock
And I'm yearning for the sun, but it is held hostage by the clouds
So here I am, rooted to the ground, patiently awaiting
For the light to lift me away from the melancholic hell

The sun eventually came and went away
The water wheel is still turning, but I have grown with time
And I open myself up to you, delicately and unassumingly,
But cruel winter has arrived unannounced and stolen the warmth,
And I succumb submissively to your cold absence,
Even as the last petal falls.

Despair

I am friendless, and walk this world alone
I have known delight, but only in its darkest tone
I tread softly, so I don't leave an imprint on the ground,
Make no sound, so I can't ever be found,
But someone always turns around
And in the dark night I wound, making hearts painfully pound.

I often watch the sun after the rainfall
Sitting on the wall, witnessing it all
Wishing its light, would release me from my watery sight
So I don't have to fight the night, and set me right
And teach me that, to have black is to have white,
But wish as I might, it's an unattainable height.

Once a bird flew into my hand
I grasped it joyfully, but it withered to sand
I do not start crying because I have always been crying
But I feel the ache nonetheless, deeply prying
And I remember the day I died
One of the many deaths I belied
She was a victim of my touch,
And to her, I may have given too much,
I held her in my arms
In hopes of keeping her from harms,
But she asked me tearfully,
And I replied resolutely,
"What is love?"

Downfall

You walk down the downtrodden path
And you wear the mud up to your knees
The splash marks like hands clawing
Up your legs, but you walk on unconcerned

You twirl the young spring leaves between your fingers
As you walk by the branches that reach out to you
The same way you twirled her hair absentmindedly,
The scent of jasmine playing in the air

You throw up into the air, the white petals you gathered
From the jasmines that you saw growing in the passing fields
And some float gently like feathers of a fallen bird,
Some are blown into the sky by the wind and became clouds

You breathe deeply and is reminded of her
You open up your book and found the lock of hair
That she had given to you, right next to the leaf
Of that bright spring morning, that you picked and pressed

The rain pours down, a meteor shower,
And you wish you were back in that memory you hold dear
And each step you take leaves a mark of you behind
As you walk up the road that leads to her life

You knock gently on the door of her house,
But the only response was silence
You turn the rusty door knob and stepped in,
And all you saw, was dark emptiness

You look down at the dusty floor
And saw the same footsteps that you had left
Years ago, walking out the door,
And next to it, fallen knees and water drops

You walk up the creaky stairs
Running your hands on the unpolished railing,
And you stood in the doorway of her room,
Soft and softly lighted

You sat on her bed, a once familiar place,
And you remember the words she said to you,
The only true words you've ever known,
And there are words in you that you wish you'd told her,

And it has taken you so long to get here,
And you wonder why you left in the first place
As you reach for the dress she left on the floor
You can still smell her presence in it,
And you smile into the fabric,
As you lie back on her bed and fall into eternal sleep.

Published: Nov. 12th, 2011.