This Was What You Wanted

You wanted to make me, a person as broken as you are
And I've become a person that I hate
You brought out in me, a side that I don't like,
A hatred and frustration served with cold words
And I didn't know I had the capacity to be this way
Day in and day out I question this split, this divide
Between who I thought I was and want to be,
And who you think I am and what your words made me out to be,
And your words carried more weight than my thoughts
So I am dragged down by their heaviness
Finally, I removed them from my chest and I can breathe again,
Clear headed, but still weary and worn, 
I hope what I write here will absorb all this that I feel
So I will not be burdened with them anymore.

A Hard Person

I know I'm not the easiest person to love
But you do and I don't know why
My question echoes in the silence
Your love bounces off the walls of my heart
Continuously, creating a beat,
A hollow sound, an unyielding shell,
And I feel safer inside
Because ever since I left simplicity behind,
Which cannot be undone,
I had my trust stolen and sold, and was
Trampled on by a march of cruel words,
Cracked smile and broken eyes,
A heart that ran cold,
Pouring out frozen words,
Made me a hard person to love.

Struggle

And the waves came to drag me back into the ocean.

Trapped

You bow to me, hiding your smirk,
Asking me for a dance,
So we twirl and twirl 'till I'm dizzy,
Too lost in the moment to care,
But you kept winding up the music box,
Your arms refusing to let go,
Whispering honey-laced words
So I'd be stuck on you,
But I grow more weary each beat
I politely ask to be excused,
You spit out more reasons why I should stay,
Imposing and guilt-inducing,
It's hard to breathe, 
So I'm trying to push you away,
But your ego is bigger than your heart
As you clinch on tighter 'till it hurts me,
Grab me roughly and shake me out
With your accusations and injury,
And I no longer know how to escape,
I can't get away.

Wild Honeysuckle

The air smells of the trees' breath,
And I catch the last wink of the sun
Before it closes its eyes

There is rustling in the leaves
As birds call out to the wind
Declarations of life

A scent drifts on by
Familiarly sweet and soft
But I know not from where it comes

Just as it fades
The wind wafts it my way
Lifting my head in its direction

Those wild honeysuckles
Smile down at me delightfully
Like an old friend

The day's relay over,
As the sun passes the torch
To the approaching moon

The smell lingers in my mind
As I write down these words, 
The fireflies are dotting my i's.